she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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