dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.