You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.