that's an acceptable place to lick
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
