you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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