as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
accomplished twins. life is a go
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
