my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
