so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
