carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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