Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize