Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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