you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
