I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
