i just sent this text using only my big toe
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am naked and annoyed.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
