i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
