only if we run a train.
done.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
