I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
