the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
