The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
