So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my shit smells like andre
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
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yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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