Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
