How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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