He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
