My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
