Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones

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(407): View more from Florida

Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.

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(207): View more from Maine

I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.

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(512): View more from Texas

Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead

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(775): View more from Nevada

Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.

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(818): View more from California

I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.

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