remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
