I think im going to throw up on grandma
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Randomize