I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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