Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
