dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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