i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
