What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
