We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
