it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I looked at my own cervix.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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