I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
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A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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