she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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