I'm jealous of your bromance
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
