I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
