is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it because I queefed?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
