Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
