Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
