Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
