If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
