Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
