Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
