My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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