My first STD was from a foam party
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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