We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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