Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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