is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize