she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize