I wannas sexs uuuuu
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
