i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
