It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
