i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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