oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Soap is not a condiment
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
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The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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