So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
